Meet the McDaniels Family!
Jason and Cyndi McDaniel have fostered more than 67 children, mostly medically fragile or emotionally handicapped children. They came to enjoy fostering/adopting the kids who were difficult placements for others to handle or find homes for. They have a multicultural family, and they enjoy being able to cross many cultural barriers when out together. The family consists of three biological children: Gabrielle, 14; Jordan, 12; and Joshua, 11; one foster child, Lyle, age 12, and five adopted children. Lyle is in a wheelchair, doesn’t speak, and is in diapers. He has charmed the family because he just smiles and laughs when someone hugs him or gets him out of his wheelchair to dance for a few short minutes.
Adoption added Alexandria, Alyssa, Ashlynn, Joseph, and Jacob to the family. Alexandria, who is part Indian, is nine and was extremely physically and emotionally abused as a small child. She suffers from Fetal Alcohol Effects, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, short-term memory loss problems, and learning disabilities. She has made remarkable progress since coming to the McDaniel household and is a beautiful child with a desire to please those people around her. Alyssa, age six, was born while her biological mother was in jail and was in foster care until she came to the McDaniel home as a foster/adoptive placement. She has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, a depressive disorder, painful flashbacks, and has regressed to the point where she is no longer potty trained. She requires almost constant one-on-one attention to keep her from harming herself or someone else. Ashlynn, age four, has been with the family since birth. Although she has picked up some of Alyssa’s behavior, she is mostly on target developmentally. She is very shy and unsure of strangers, which is the opposite of the two girls with Reactive Attachment Disorder. She loves to play outside. Joseph, age four, is of Hispanic descent, and was born extremely premature at just over 24 weeks. As a result he suffers several physical disorders, including two brain bleeds and hips that are growing out of their sockets. He is in a wheelchair and must be fed by a G-tube. He loves music and has an infectious smile. His nickname is “Smiley Britches.” For the first six months that Jacob, 18 months, was with the family he screamed 12-16 hours per day and had severe withdrawal and tremors. Today, he is a little delayed in speech and has very exaggerated reactions but otherwise is on target developmentally. Mom says, “he is the cutest little thing you could imagine and just a joy to have at our house.” In addition to the five adopted children, the McDaniel family also suffered the tragic loss of another adopted child when son Sammy died in mom’s arms at only two and a half years of age.
The family knows that things can be difficult with the child welfare system, but they find the work fulfilling and they are determined to see this road as a ministry and reach out and do what they can to make the world a better place. They have a lot of support from their church, both sets of grandparents, and their kids’ godmother. In addition to psychological services, the family receives vendor payments so they can access things that Medicaid doesn’t pay for.
When asked about the challenges of adopting children from foster care, Cyndi says, “I will state the frustrations but only in saying that when God calls you to walk this road of fostering/adoption he equips you for the road. Somehow our needs have always been provided for and we've been able to bring healing to lots of children.” There are days, however, that test their resolve, such as when their daughter pulls off her fingernails (to feel pain); mom and dad just step back and take a deep breath and know it won't last forever. There are also days when Cyndi or Jason holds a screaming, tremmoring baby in their arms, and with tears streaming down their face prays over them to please feel better, knowing that the biological parent will never see what they did to that child.
The McDaniels family knows all too well the financial demands involved in raising children with special needs. It is the McDaniels’ opinion that for adoptive families to be effective, there need to be more services available for medically fragile and emotionally fragile children as well. They want members of Congress to understand that by providing those services, money, and support, they are making a good investment in preventing problems that could develop in the future.
