Meet the James-Williams Family!
When Karen and Michael started their foster parent journey they had not planned on adopting. Karen had two grown daughters from a previous marriage as did Michael. They both worked full time and were getting close to their retirement years. However, they started to notice that their house was quiet and they had the room, time and love to give back to their community. Two years after their daughter and grandchildren moved out of state they decided to become foster parents. They went into it thinking that they could provide a safe and nurturing home for children for a couple of years. Little did they know that their adoption journey would start when Daniel, their first foster placement, moved into their home. Daniel arrived at their home in the middle of the night in January 2017. He was dropped off with a small backpack that included a few clothes and a toy train. Daniel was 23 months when he moved into Karen and Michael’s home. Soon after Daniel moved into their home, they discovered that he had an older brother, Damien. Damien was 14 at the time and had been placed in a group home. Karen and Michael began to have contact with Damien. They wanted Damien to know that Daniel was safe. The first time that they brought the boys together they instantly realized that the boys had a very deep bond. Damien had been a father figure to Daniel and instantly started to care for him as a father would. Daniel grinned the entire visit and they saw a joy in him that they had not seen since he moved into their home. When they went to drop off Damien at the group home that night, Daniel was sad the whole way home and moaned over and over ‘brother’. They knew that night that regardless of their original plans to foster one child, the boys had to be together, and they would try to make this happen.
Although Karen and Michael had never planned on having a teen placed in their home, they instantly began to work with the agency to have Damien placed with them. He moved into their homes six months later. Karen and Michael never had another foster placement. Instead they adopted both boys in May 2020. Karen says that although they are older parents and had not imagined starting all over again, she can’t imagine not having both boys in their life. The boys bring a lot of light, energy and fluidity into the house. The boys continue to have a very strong bond. Damien is now a senior in high school and Daniel is in kindergarten.
Adopting the boys has changed the way that Karen and Michael’s future will look. While their friends all move into retirement communities, they will continue to parent a child in elementary school. They recognize that they have a long road in front of them but they believe it is totally worth it. They have not only adopted two amazing boys, they have expanded their family to include the extended family members and Damien and Daniel’s birth mom. They talk to their mother on the phone, attend church with their grandmother and have their uncles stop by the home. Karen states, “I now realize that there can’t be too many people who love your children and have learned how to really lean into this.” Karen states that the connection with the birth families is important for all children who have been adopted but is particularly important for their boys since the adoption is transracial. Karen recognizes that there are things that the birth family can provide the boys that she and her husband can’t. Karen says that the adoption experience has been a huge learning experience for her. Every day she becomes more aware of cultural issues, and this has brought her a great deal of humility. Seeing the world through the eyes of their boys has turned a fire on in them, and now on, they pray it never goes out. Accepting and seeing their boys’ truth has not only made them better parents, but it has also made them better family members, neighbors, and advocates.
