Meet the Cox Family!
My husband Jon and I began this journey as foster parents, and I’m currently a social worker myself. Both through our family fostering for 6 years and through my work, our biological children have been able to develop a sense of empathy and caring - essentially sacrificial love - that they wouldn’t have learned any other way. They have grown such big hearts, both by experiencing other kids coming and going from our home, and through our adoption of their little sister Evie, now age 6.
Although Evie came to us originally at three months of age in 2014, her adoption was a long, rough road. Her adoption path was not made fully clear to anyone for three years as many reunification efforts were made, often at what seemed to us to be at her expense. As a family, we had to invest in a tremendous amount of heart-wrenching advocacy and efforts to help her heal. We had to carry the torch of Evie’s cause ourselves, securing a multitude of different services and providers, both before and after her adoption. We were continuously fighting for her physical, emotional and mental health and safety in so many ways. Fortunately, both Evie and our family triumphed, and she joined our family permanently in 2017 at three years old.
As a result of all the ups and downs, our oldest son, Easton age 15, feels very protective of his little sister. He has a tender, sweet spot for Evie, and is very thankful that she stayed with our family and that we were able to ultimately adopt her. Seeing them together is really cute. Since Easton is an athlete and very into sports, it’s quite touching when he plays outside, throws a ball around or rides bikes with her.
Big sister Makenlee, age 13, has also developed her own concern and awareness around Evie’s safety. She is equally thankful to have a little sister and sidekick. Makenleee babysits Evie and is really like a second mother to her. It’s been gratifying to see the empathy grow, and to watch them do arts and crafts together or play with the neighborhood kids. When Makenlee babysits, Evie often goes along for the ride. They are both very caring girls.
Evie is a friendly, kind child with a joyful spirit and the sweetest heart. Extremely social and extroverted, she loves to be with people and enjoys playing with others. Naturally, she adores kindergarten and going to school! Evie wears her adoption on her sleeve for the world to see. She is so proud she was adopted and that we as her adoptive parents were and still are her true champions. She has healed so much in our home. It is amazing what a consistent, stable, secure, trauma-informed family can do for a child.
I think what we would like our legislators to know is that there are far too many children who languish in care, unable to access the services they need, while the adults expend an awful lot of time working through processes (i.e. reunification), but to the child’s detriment. As a result, the children suffer additional and unnecessary trauma. They end up with so much more healing to do, while trying to juggle the many changes and instability going on in their lives. There are permanency laws intended to prevent this and to help children find stable permanent families in a timely fashion, but it still happens. In fact, a sibling set that we fostered is still in care, and has been for over 4 years, in this exact scenario. We feel kids need a firmer path identified, earlier on rather than later.
As Christians, we go to church and maintain a strong, spiritual component to our lives. Through our faith, we believe there are many spiritual undertones to adoption, around the themes of being chosen, cared for, and selfless love. We carry so much love and care for our daughter; she is literally the missing puzzle piece of our family and only now do we finally feel complete. I, personally, am a better mom and a better person for knowing and parenting Evie. She’s an incredible little girl with an incredible story. She is living proof that the combination of a child’s own resilience and a safe, stable home can go an unbelievably long way.
People who knew Evie before, during and after her adoption have watched her grow up. They remark how she’s a completely different child today. We feel it’s truly a miracle.
