Meet the Vandivere-Williams Family!
Adoption has enabled Sharon Vandivere and Scott Williams to build a joyful, diverse family. First the couple adopted newborn daughter Grace through a private agency. They then worked within their state’s foster care system to adopt son Dearndre and daughter Laneisha, at ages 5 and 4. This second adoption not only gave Grace a brother and a sister, but it also guaranteed that two biological siblings would grow up together.
Now ages 12, 9, and 8, the Williams youngsters are busy participating in various activities and developing their special talents. Grace sings, plays the ukulele, and attends a drama program. Dearndre loves dancing and sports of all kinds. Laneisha sings and is learning to play the piano. Even at their young ages, all three children have clear career goals. Grace envisions herself as a pop star, Dearndre plans to become a police officer, and Laneisha wants to teach.
Sharon had long been aware of the needs of children in state custody because her mother had been a foster parent and a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate). Shortly after Sharon and Scott adopted Grace, they decided to become foster parents. Sharon explains, “We wanted to offer children consistent, uninterrupted care for as long as needed.”
Over the years, Sharon and Scott have cared for 5 pairs of siblings. Although they didn’t initially intend to adopt again, when it was determined that Dearndre and Laneisha would not be reunited with their birth family, the Williams warmly welcomed them as permanent family members. The pair had already lived with them for 2 years and had formed close attachments.
“We are still a work in progress!”
The Williams feel “extremely lucky” to have a community of friends with children close in age to theirs. Sharon writes, “Some have extremely active boys, so they help normalize for us some of the challenging behaviors.” In addition to their friends, the Williams have relied upon professional family counseling to help them gel as a cohesive unit. Scott observes, “We are still a work in progress!”
Sharon and Scott give “mixed reviews” to their region’s post adoption services. They appreciate that Montgomery County fully pays for therapy through the Center for Adoption Support and Education (CASE), which has provided individual sessions to all three children. The family has also attended Pact (a summer camp focusing on adoptive and transracial families,) the Kids Adoption Network day-long conference offered by CASE, and a day-long adoption conference offered by Adoptions Together. Sharon says, “These are all great resources!”
The couple has been less satisfied with the coverage for more intensive services. Sharon and Scott have had to advocate, and often pay for, neurological evaluations, educational resources, and appropriate mental health services. They appreciate their Adoption Assistance subsidy which helps pay for some services.
The Williams ask policymakers to promote efforts to prevent childhood neglect, and to advocate for better post adoption supports for families of children who have histories of early neglect.
Grace offers the Williamses’ definition of family: “Family means people who will always love you, always care for you, and always have your back, even if they don't look like you.”
