Meet the Porfirio Family!
As an experienced parent, Karl Porfirio knew he had the patience, wisdom, energy, and resources to help additional youth. He applied to do foster care when he became aware of the great need in his community. Over the years Karl has evolved into one of his area’s “expert” foster parents, teaching classes and staying active in the Foster Parent Association. He writes, “As a single father I only took the kids I knew no one else wanted - the ones I believed I could love and help to become responsible adults.”
Karl explains how he ended up adopting two of his foster sons: “I soon realized my boys had no one but me. I could not save all, so I adopted the ones I felt I could; the ones who also wanted me as their forever father.”
Karl’s newest sons are two brothers, Adam age 22, and TJ, age 19. Adam is now living on his own. When he is not in school, TJ can be found reading voraciously and building “expertly” with Legos. TJ is especially popular with younger children. Diagnosed with autism, TJ requires extra support and supervision. Before coming to the Porfirio home, TJ and his brother were living separately. Karl initially expressed interest in the older boy, but then he learned of TJ and that the two were “a package deal.” He recalls, “TJ needed to be loved and rescued from a group home.”
Asked what challenges he has faced in fostering and adopting, Karl replies, “There have been many. I’ve encountered professionals with the relevant education but not the experience who thought they knew what was best for the child, when in reality they had no clue. In particular, it is difficult finding a therapist who really knows about foster children. Having a good psychiatrist who listens is VERY important.”
Karl finds support through his connections with other foster and adoptive parents. The general community has been less receptive. “They like helping from a distance like at the holidays but they don’t really understand and they pass judgments on the biological parents as well as on the adoptive parents.”
Karl hopes policymakers will simplify and streamline the procedures to get children into safe permanent homes. “There is so much bureaucracy. Children want to move on with their lives. They can’t stop living and aging while waiting on courts and slow workers who are ALWAYS in a meeting!”
TJ recalls the moment he first realized that he had found his permanent family. It occurred when he moved in and finally got to have a room of his own.
Karl offers words of wisdom to other would-be adoptive parents. “Adoption is not for everyone. It takes patience and love, especially when adopting an older child. Everyone loves a baby from the start, but an older child has to be fallen in love with and a bond must be formed that grows and hopefully lasts forever.”
*The Cronen’s participated in the 2020 Adoptive Family Portrait Project as well! Check out their other story here!
