Meet the Sump Family!
Our entry into parenthood was a difficult one for my husband Mallory and me (Kara).
My nieces, Jenniffer, and Destiny were placed with us at the ages of 6 and 8 after they had been in and out of foster care. At one point, one of the girl’s needs became so challenging that we found it all-consuming and were almost ready to give up.
We banded together with the Department of Human Services to obtain wraparound services. Once a team was behind us, we started to regain our balance and, ultimately, the strength to adopt our daughters when they were 9 and 11 in 2015. Without these services, we would not be where we are today as a family of six with the addition of our biological children Anndee, 4, and Dwight, 2.
Together, we love to play card games and solve mysteries. Our favorites are Clue, Monopoly, Deal, and escape rooms. Last summer, we joined two other adoptive families at the beach for a camping trip and round of escape rooms. The beach is our go-to escape and the first place we went to after adopting our daughters.
My daughters are extraordinary, smart, funny, and feisty self-advocates. They continue to teach me every day and they have reshaped my focus on family experience. I am a nurse and have now entered graduate school to become a nurse practitioner specializing in mental health. This is not an area I would have ever explored or had a passion for had it not been for my daughters. They continue to push me to grow as a mom and advocate for children’s mental health services.
In this advocacy work, we have delved into the need for family and youth voice to be front and center in all decisions made for families across all systems. “Family voice first” is the driver in developing the Oregon Family Advisory Council, where I serve as the president with a fantastic team. One of my daughters also serves in a youth version of this at our county level.
We wish all families had access to a family partner or peer support without regard to insurance, mental health involvement, or other siloed systems. We ask policymakers to consider adding funding for such programs so that other families have access to supports like the one that got us through our tough times. It would also be great if every state had a requirement and funding to have parent and youth advisory councils.
Adoption does not fix a child’s pain or sadness. Adoption has been the hardest challenge of my life and no doubt of theirs as well, and we are a strong, loving family. We have learned to have a different kind of love and respect for each other. I have learned so much from each of them about empathy, brain science, trauma, love, and how to be a mom.
