Meet the Stoutenburg Family!
We first became aware of the need to adopt children in foster care by being foster parents to our two grandsons. After they returned home, we reached out to the adoptive certifier in April, 2018, to start the process of adopting.
That summer we learned of two brothers, 9- and 8-year-old Noah and Tyson, who needed a family. These two wonderful boys had been in foster care since they were one and a few months old, with multiple placements – sometimes together and sometimes separately. The boys came to live with us in September, 2018, and their adoption was finalized in August, 2019.
Noah is a kind-hearted boy who was quickly drawn to Tracy and started calling her “Mom” within a few weeks. Noah recalls, “I wanted a mom who would love me, hug me and mess with my hair – the stuff I saw with friends at school and their moms.” With love, patience and understanding, Noah is finally learning to relax and just enjoy being a kid. Active and athletic, he loves football, basketball, baseball, and he wants to run track. Jeff describes Noah as “a mechanically inclined boy who loves to tinker with my tools, taking things apart and trying to put them back together.” Father and son enjoy working on projects together in the garage.
Tyson is an intelligent boy who enjoys school and playing basketball. As a fourth grader last year, he was reading at the eleventh grade level. A “watch and wait” kind of person, Tyson took a while to believe that he was finally home. In December, 2018, while the whole family was in the kitchen making Christmas cookies, Tyson commented, “This house is not our forever house. DHS can come take us away at any time.” We reassured him that he was now our son, that we loved him, and that no one was going to take him away. Tyson replied back, “For real?” and after more assurances, he returned his attention to cookie-making. The next day he started calling us Mom and Dad.
About two months after the boys’ adoption ceremony, our family decided together that we wanted to adopt a girl, a sister. In October, 2019, sweet little Belle came to our home. Just shy of her seventh birthday, she had been in numerous foster homes – ours was her eighth in three years. Belle did not speak and was extremely leery of others, especially women. Tracy accepted this challenge and met it head on. Four months after her arrival, Belle bought herself and Tracy a “mom/daughter” necklace. She stated, “Mommy, I love you so much-here is my gift to you- our hearts together make a whole, but when they are not together, we are alone.” Belle is a smart, artistic girl who loves math, enjoys all sports, and even aspires to play flag football and to do BMX bike stunts just like her brothers.
Our family is fun and vibrant. We enjoy camping, bike riding, fishing, and taking our quads out together. Some of our greatest memories are going on jet boat rides on the Rogue River, visiting the Trees of Mystery in Northern California, and camping at the Oregon State Parks. Our strengths are: we don’t give up, we are always kind, we say “I love you,” and we support each other.
We are now a family of seven, with two grown sons who are 30 and 28 and our three younger kids who are 11, 10 and 7. Our kids are our kids – we NEVER say we have two bio and three adopted – we just say we have five kids! We believe family is defined by who loves you, supports you, believes in you, and will always be there.
We are extremely grateful for our friends and family who have supported us—some think we are crazy for adopting three kids when we are 50—but still support us! Jeff is a stay-at-home dad and takes his role very seriously. Tracy is now working at home due to the Coronavirus so we get a lot of togetherness!
We believe the federal government can improve the adoption process by: A) setting clearer guidelines on how long a child should be in foster care before the plan changes from reunification to adoption, and B) providing more educational and training to all parties involved in the foster/adoptive world, including judges, attorneys, and caseworkers.
We have an additional suggestion. In Oregon all the state parks are free for adoptive and foster families. It would be amazing if the national parks were also free to these families.
