Meet the Scott Family!
“Adoption is scary. It is not ever fast. It is not ever fair to the child,” say Jolanda and Lorenzo Scott, who approach the subject of adoption with compassion and realism. The Scotts were house-parents at a local group home for two years before deciding to foster independently. They later deliberately chose to take on the challenge of adopting a teenager, stating: “It is so difficult for older youth to get adopted, but they need to know love to succeed later in life.”
Jolanda and Lorenzo Scott now have a large family. The Scott household consists of their three biological children: Gideon, age 9; Levi, age7; and Naomi, age 20 months; foster son Dante, age 17;, and Frederick age 15, who at the time of his adoption at 13 had been in foster care for seven years.
Despite having special educational needs, Frederick is described by his parents as, “a typical teenager who loves his cellphone like it was an extra part of his body.” Says Jolanda, “He is a very social boy who has so many friends at school.” Frederick is actively involved as a role model and project advocate with a local magazine that promotes positive self-esteem in preteens. Frederick’s parents proudly remark, “Freddy really loves any opportunity to show he cares about others.”
The Scotts’ younger children have experienced some challenges adjusting to a new family structure with the additions of teenagers Frederick and Dante: “We had to really work with our kids to help them figure out their place when two teenagers came into the family, and new sibling rivalries started to form. The boys had to learn to communicate with each other as well as learn the new rules of how our family functions.” Jolanda says the adjustment process is ongoing for her children, describing it as, “still a day-to-day learning process of communication.”
We have to do better for the kids. The instability is just not fair.
Despite these challenges, the Scotts remain optimistic: “Family is an ever-changing and developing painting. There are moments when we aren't always certain we are making the right steps in creating a beautiful outcome. Still, we keep adding to this family and into our children. At the end of the day, we know we have given our all and when the paint dries it will be beautiful.”
When asked what they would request of policymakers in relation to adoption and foster care issues, the Scotts are well-prepared with an answer: “There are so many hoops and loops to jump through to get to an adoptive placement. Though in some instances they make sense, as in giving biological parents a couple of opportunities to make better choices. Other times the amount of red tape navigation needed to get a case moving in the direction of adoption can cause delays even after years of process. We have to do better for the kids. The instability is just not fair.”
