Meet the Sampson Family!
Adoption for us was a leap of faith and an absolute whirlwind. We started out caring for two toddlers, added a third, and then ended up - somewhat by surprise - being able to adopt all three! Although, interestingly enough we did not adopt them in the order they originally arrived.
We began parenting Alice and Aaron, now ages 7 and 5, in May 2017 and adopted them in August 2019. Our adoption is what enabled them to stay together as a sibling pair. Addilyn “Addy Mae”, now age 6, came to us in July 2017 and we adopted her in 2018. All three children have been together with us and primarily with each other since they entered our home.
My husband Daniel and I think it’s important to point out that adoption isn’t always an answer to the problem, but it sure is a start to the healing process. You can’t always focus on the happy side of adoption, and it’s important to be aware of that. There is a lot to celebrate, but you simply can’t have adoption without a great deal of loss. We try to be sensitive to that in our family. We make sure to openly acknowledge the grief and loss around things like biological family.
Our children are amazing! Our oldest, Alice, is “our sunshine girl” and in first grade. She is petite, full of life and energy and is absolutely the purest soul. Everyone knows her, or knows of her, and she positively eats up the attention. Fearless, she is a thriving and strong gymnast and also plays the piano. Nothing can hold her back!
Our middle daughter, Addy Mae” age 6, is “our fancy girl.” Super confident, outgoing and friendly, she makes friends wherever she goes, including at Kindergarten. She is fully inclusive of others and has never met a stranger. A fighter for justice and kindness, she is not afraid to speak up and wants everyone to be treated fairly. Listening to her play Old MacDonald on her violin is a delight, and she is really good at soccer.
Young Aaron is the sweetest, most sensitive soul. He is deeply loving and affectionate. While Aaron may not make friends casually, when he does find someone he connects with, he is staunch and loyal. Despite being in Kindergarten, he already loves playing golf, is taking ukulele lessons, adores playing with Legos, and can’t get enough homework!
In our adoption experience, our Court Appointed Special Advocate (C.A.S.A.) Stan and his advocacy made all the difference. The first time he came to our home, he swooped in like a powerful force and then transformed into our guardian angel. He knew everything about the children, visited them everywhere they stayed or went, and committed himself to remaining involved. He would drop everything and go, just to make sure that they were safe. An incredibly wise and discerning man, he was able to share information and offer observations at just the right moments.
In general, we observed that there was a lot of discontinuity in the relaying of information among all the involved parties in the system who worked on our children’s cases. Communications broke down, papers were lost, and even the professionals themselves didn’t always know what they were supposed to do. These disconnects really elevated risks for the children.
Overall, despite these historic challenges, I really think our state is moving in the right direction. More people and systems are being held accountable, and most importantly there is more focus on making sure everyone is doing okay in their work. So many caseworkers experience extreme trauma and are expected to deal with it all on their own. They suffer from burnout and naturally become hardened and callous in response to all that they see and witness. You can’t fix all the issues, but if Congress could find ways to offer more oversight for the States and better support for caseworkers it could really help.
Regardless, adoption of our children just makes our hearts swell with pride on a daily basis. Spontaneously and out of the blue at the dinner table Alice will often say, “Mom I’m so happy to be in our forever family.” Addy Mae, on the other hand, talks about adoption with just about everyone! She is so proud to be adopted and will even ask most other children she meets, “are you in your forever family?”
It can’t get much more rewarding than that.
