Meet the Rentfrow Family!
We (Kathy and Chris) first became foster parents in 2009. We had wanted to foster for years, but moved around so much (11 times in 13 years!) as a Navy family that it was difficult. Finally, in 2008, we settled in Annapolis, Maryland, where Chris became a permanent military professor at the Naval Academy. We began the training to become foster parents and planned to consider adoption if the circumstances warranted. Turns out that adoption became the norm and we eventually ran out of space!
Our second foster placement was Jonathan, age 9. He had experienced a lot of loss and rejection in his short life, and we decided to adopt him when he was 10. Despite the challenges he faced, Jonathan persevered and graduated from high school and lives with girlfriend in Maine. Now 20, he would like to become a video game designer.
Jeffrey came into foster care when he was 18 months old. The goal was originally reunification with his parents, but that wasn’t possible. We adopted him when he was four, with a liberal post-adoption visitation agreement. While he has significant issues relating to the trauma he’s endured in his young life, Jeffrey is a funny, energetic, affectionate 10-year-old who excels at sports. Sadly his birth parents died a few years ago, but he still has regular contact with his extended birth family, and loves playing with his cousins.
Michael came to us at three months old, and we adopted him a month before his second birthday when reunification and relative placement didn’t work out. Due to prenatal drug exposure and family history, he has some significant disabilities. He is also a wonderfully caring, kind eight-year-old who loves his family so much. Other favorites are Legos and video games.
During our foster and adoption journey, we found that involvement with birth families is a lot more extensive than we expected. We believe that the more people that love these kids the better, and work to keep those familial ties as strong as possible. Our willingness and adeptness at working with birth families led to us being named Anne Arundel County’s 2014 Foster Parents of the Year. We brought our adult daughter, Melissa, to the reception at the Governor’s mansion, because we could not succeed as foster/adoptive parents without her support as the family nanny. Today, at 25, Melissa continues to support our family in this way, which is imperative due to the children’s complex needs.
Our other daughter, Kaitlyn, age 23, is currently in law school and aspires to become a lawyer in the foster care system. Her complex family experiences have obviously inspired her in this way.
Some of our children will need varying levels of care for their entire lives. Adoption assistance and tax credits provide some help now, but will not last forever. Our country needs to recognize the life-long impact trauma has on children who have experienced foster care and adoption, and provide the mental health care and other help they need, even into adulthood.
