Meet the Durliat Family!
We (Tarah and my husband Hayes and our 17-year-old daughter Alli) began our journey of adoption from foster care because we wanted to give children a forever family. Hayes said we should adopt only one child, but things didn’t quite turn out that way.
In June 2014, our son Chance was placed in our home at age 3, along with his brother, who returned to his biological father a few months later. Chance was such a tender-natured little boy with an obvious desire to be loved.
Six months later, we received a call about another 3-year-old boy who was most likely to need a permanent placement. When his caseworker arrived with him, this little man stuck out his hand and said, "Hi. My name is Hayden. Nice to meet ya." My heart instantly melted. So we went from a family of four to a family of five.
The following November (2015), we received a phone call asking us to take a 4-day-old infant girl, Hayden’s sister Jena. Although we had not prepared ourselves for any more children, we immediately said yes.
We were able to adopt our children after their birth parents surrendered their rights. We adopted Chance, at age 6, in April 2016. Hayden and Jena were ages 6 and 2 when their adoptions occurred on National Adoption Day in November 2017.
We have faced challenges that are common in many foster-to-adoptive families: trauma-related fears and behaviors, developmental delays, diagnoses, and learning challenges. Our children have progressed and accomplished so much, some with the help of therapeutic services.
I would love to see policymakers make it easier for adoptive and foster parents to meet needs like those our children have had. There should be funding for programs that enable parents to access information on the services that will best help children with specific diagnosis and resources to address the challenges brought on by the loss and trauma they experienced. Policymakers should also help ensure that children have immediate access to special education services when those are needed.
Now age 10, Chance still has his gentle personality. Since he first arrived, he has shown an interest in dump trucks and remote controlled cars. This past year on career day, he asked me to buy him a tuxedo, explaining that trash truck drivers wear tuxedos and he wants to be a trash truck driver when he grows up. My son will be the best dressed trash trucker driver around!
Hayden is a real fighter—he has overcome so much. He’s also ready and willing to defend his brother Chance whenever someone picks on him, and strives to make sure Chance is taken care of.
Jena, now age 5, loves deeply and has a spitfire of a personality. Even though she came to us at birth, she’s still had her struggles, including with the fact that she is a different race than her parents. The day we received the call for Jena was the day our family truly felt complete. She was the finish to the puzzle of our family.
No matter where the beginning of each story took place, we have all been brought together as a family. Chance sees Hayden as his absolute best friend. Jena and Hayden have a very special bond that goes beyond blood. We all work together to make this family function. We understand we all have different backgrounds and experiences, but our family has pulled through together and come out stronger.
