Meet the Arvidson and Osborn Family!
Moms Ann Arvidson and Rhande Osborn had not thought about adopting when they were going through the foster parent licensing process, but when Heather asked them about it the second week she lived with them, they couldn’t imagine her being anywhere else. Heather, age 12, came to the family when she was 9 and had been in the foster care system since the age of 3. She officially became part of the family a year later, with more than 30 people in the courtroom to help the three women celebrate. Heather is very athletic, playing volleyball and basketball for her school. She has thrived in school and has a dachshund “Oscar” whom she loves very much.
After their first adoption, Ann and Rhande felt a lot more comfortable with adopting. Although they were not exactly looking for another child, Megan was a child who wanted a “liberal, creative, understanding family,” when she came to Ann and Rhande’s home, and there was no doubt in their minds that they would be her “forever family.” Megan, who goes by Megz, (16) was adopted in May 2007 in Monroe County, with many friends and family at the finalization to celebrate the happy occasion. Megz is a voracious reader and writes marvelous poetry. She is attending her version of “band camp” this summer (Girl’s Rhythm and Rock) and she will be a junior in high school where she has been in two theatre productions.
Ann was 51 and Rhande 49 when they first adopted, and the fact that their family looks different from most has been a challenge for the family. They have what they call a “family of choice,” which is a village that helps Ann and Rhande raise the girls. According to the moms, “cultivating our support system has been wonderful but can be a challenge for parents who are not as ‘connected’ as we are.” Ann and Rhande feel that, because children who have been in foster care often carry much baggage from their family of origin and the disruption in their lives cause grief and loss issues, adoptive parents need to know they are not alone. They believe that support groups and good training can go a long way to helping adoptive parents handle the challenges of parenting children with special needs. In addition, adoption subsidy payments help them provide for their children in ways that they cannot on their own.
The family’s biggest challenge has been dealing with the effects of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Ann and Rhande have spent a lot of time and resources trying to educate themselves and enhance their parenting skills in order to manage the effects of RAD. They know that there are always challenges involved in raising teenagers, but the behavioral issues that are related to the trauma suffered by the girls exacerbate those that arise in the “typical teen years.” Ann and Rhande use family therapy and both girls are in individual therapy for when specific issues arise. Luckily, both women work in the therapy field and have had many extraordinary opportunities for personal and professional growth in the fields of adoption, foster care, and particularly attachment. They recently traveled to Colorado to work with Juli Alvarado on Emotional Regulatory Parenting, which is helping them parent more lovingly and effectively.
2007 Portrait Project - Representative Evan Bayh
