Meet the Bankhead Family!
The Bankheads are a small, close-knit family consisting of mom Karen and her 16-year-old-daughter who goes by the nickname Tiger.
Divorced and childless, Karen used to regularly take long walks on nearby Venice Beach. Observing rollerbladers whizzing by and families frolicking with their children, she began to contemplate what a fun location this would be to raise a child. “I realized I had room in my home and in my heart for a child who needed a stable parent figure. I decided I could at least offer to do foster care.” A short article in the Los Angeles Times Magazine featuring a local agency spurred her to action. As she reviewed profiles of children on “Adopt-US-Kids,” her interests changed from foster care to adoption.
Tiger was 6 years old when she became Karen’s foster child, and 9 when the adoption was completed. Mother’s and daughter’s personalities and interests complemented each other so well that adoption issues, and Tiger’s history of early instability soon faded into the background. Acquaintances who did not know the Bankhead’s 10 years ago are surprised when they learn the pair was not always together. Karen respectfully lets Tiger decide if, when, and with whom to divulge her history. “Foster and adopted kids want to be seen as ‘normal,’” she says. “Be considerate of their privacy.”
Karen’s voice resonates with loving pride as she describes her daughter. “Tiger is super-funny, strong-minded, level-headed, smart, and incredibly creative.” A talented musician, Tiger attends a music academy where she has studied violin and piano. Her current instrument is the electric bass, which she plays regularly in the church youth band. Tiger also enjoys sports: tennis, soccer, and volleyball. She attended a ‘fashion camp’ where she learned to sew and knit – good outlets for her creative bent. A high school junior, Tiger earns high grades and has her sights set on attending college.
Mother and daughter enjoy their time together. Favorite activities are going out for sushi, walking on the beach, listening to and creating music, participating in church events, and simply ‘hanging out’ at home. Karen’s mother and Tiger also have a strong connection – Grandma accompanies granddaughter on shopping expeditions. Karen has attempted to provide Tiger with another kind of connection to her birth family members. She has tried unsuccessfully to locate Karen’s birth mother through the state system. Karen would support Tiger’s searching and contacting birth relatives in the future should she want to do so.
Asked about the challenges of adoption, Karen reports, “None with the child; a few with the process, especially the paperwork.” She finds the post-adoption support she receives, both the Adoption Assistance Program and MediCal, “essential.” Karen Bankhead asks members of Congress to realize that older children in foster care do so much better if placed in permanent homes.
“Funding is important. I believe more people would adopt if the process was easier and affordable.” Grateful for the opportunity to be a mother, Karen says, “My daughter has blessed me beyond measure. I am constantly amazed by her talents, intelligence, sweetness, and inner strength.” Tiger states, “Being adopted to me feels like I’m not even adopted - that I was always meant to be a part of this family.”
