Meet the Echols Family!
We are both the oldest siblings in our families which comes with responsibilities of being an example and helping out when needed. I have 5 siblings and Ryan has 2, so we already had our fair share of helping out with babies. We also have nieces and nephews we babysat for, so we weren’t strangers to diaper changes, baths, bottle feeding and everything else. We considered not having children and focusing on helping our nieces and nephews.
We eventually discovered that due to infertility we would not be able to conceive. It took a few years for us to consider adoption but it has definitely been one of the best choices we have ever made.
We were searching for one kiddo to adopt and then got the opportunity to adopt two siblings. The waiting game felt like forever. Will they like us? Will they adapt easily to our family atmosphere? Wait, they are actually considering us to be parents? Many similar questions arose. We had to trust the process and let it take its course.
When we first met Sofia, she was all smiles and giggles with this contagious deep belly laugh. Maria adapted to Ryan (also called Papa or “babe” by Maria and Sofia) right away. I recall getting in our car after meeting them and Ryan and myself crying. It was beginning to kick in that we would soon potentially be caring for and spending the rest of our lives with these two little girls.
The challenges have allowed us to learn when to seek help, what to worry about and to embrace the difference and changes in personalities. Unlike our nieces and nephews whom we always returned to their parents, with these new little girls in our lives, not only would we be caring for them but at the end of the day they would remain with us.
This meant learning their sleeping habits, schedules, foods they enjoyed or disliked, books, cartoons, toys, or blankets they enjoyed most or found comfort in. It has been a learning experience! We have embraced that we have to form and follow our own parenting guide. There isn’t a right answer for everything; every kiddo is different and that’s okay. Having a supportive team around you also helps a lot. We couldn’t do it without our supportive families, the foster mothers, and workers Beth Girard, Michelle Aragon and Jose Gonzalez.
Maria is very smart, determined and a fast learner. Her favorite things are arts and crafts, chickens and horses. No matter the weather she is always ready with her boots for an adventure outside or as she would say to “Splash.” She enjoys baking, something her Auntie Betsy introduced her to.
Sofia likes to go outside but would much rather be curled up in a blanket with a book, listening to music or her favorite cartoon. She also loves art and is very adventurous about trying new foods. She adores avocados and has recently discovered and enjoys utilizing the word “No”.
Our advice to other families is have patience. Trust the process; your worker and team are your best advocates. Understand and adapt to knowing each child is different. They will be their own character and have their own personality which changes with age or trends, but be patient, embrace and conquer every challenge. Enjoy every milestone, capture every memory you can and don’t doubt your ability to be a good parent and friend to them.
Instantly we were able to experience a connection and bond with these girls. We have enjoyed seeing them adapt, interact and be loved and cared for by our family. We have truly been blessed to be chosen as Maria and Sofia’s parents. It genuinely feels like they have been part of our family forever and we love them more and more each day.
I believe in the power of place and the sense of feeling like you belong or are a part of something. The process made me wonder about the true number of children at a local, state and national level. Is there a way to make the process quicker, transparent, easily accessible and more successful? We like to say we were blessed with these two little girls. But what about those children who remain waiting for years? What can we do to encourage humans to adopt and care for these young individuals who seek to belong and be part of a loving family?
I would also like to advocate for childcare for adoptive kiddos. As new parents we didn’t anticipate the high cost of childcare. I am certain this impacts all working families but how can we best support parents of adopted children and provide subsidized childcare?
