Meet the Bodian Family!
“We finalized our adoption when he was twelve years old. He had been in foster care for five and a half years, which, at the time he moved in with me, was fully half his life.”
Social work is a rewarding career for professionals who want to “make a difference” in the lives of children and families. Some survive the heart-wrenching work by distancing themselves from it on their off hours. Not Ruth Bodian! Ever since she started working for the Connecticut Department of Children and Families in her twenties, Ruth yearned “to be able to do more by providing a permanent home for child.” Having first worked in child protective services, Ruth was very familiar with adoption from foster care.
Two special adoption recruitment events introduced her to Jaron and led her to consider a child older than her initial parameters. Ruth recalls, “I first saw Jaron at an adoption party organized by MARE (Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange). A couple of weeks later, he was featured on television on Wednesday’s Child, which confirmed for me that Jaron was the child I wanted to adopt.” Just four months after their first meeting, eleven-year-old Jaron moved in with Ruth. “We finalized our adoption when he was twelve years old. He had been in foster care for five and a half years, which, at the time he moved in with me, was fully half of his life.”
One easily senses the love and pride Ruth feels for her son. She describes him as “a special soul with a warm heart.” A fun-loving fourteen-year-old with a good sense of humor, Jaron gets along with people of all ages and backgrounds. Jaron’s free time is filled with physical activities. He loves sports, especially basketball, and he has played on several teams in the past few years. Jaron has also recently joined a hip-hop dance troupe, which has uncovered an enjoyable hidden dancing talent.
The Bodian family has not been without challenges. Ruth explains, “After having bounced around from foster home to foster home, it took Jaron a while to believe that he was finally with his Forever Family. He did a lot of ‘acting out’ to test my commitment to him.” When asked what he thinks caused a positive shift in his behaviors and attitude, Jaron astutely replied that his mom “put up with my anger.” Ruth appreciates the post-adoption supports that have helped them gel as a family. Both state and federal funds provided the evaluations and services to help her and Jaron understand and address some challenging behaviors.
When asked what makes their family unique, Ruth indicates the strong connection she and Jaron have developed, “in spite of (or maybe because of) our different racial backgrounds and life experiences.” Their special bond is apparent to anyone who spends time with the two. In fact, several acquaintances have been inspired by the pair to consider adopting an older child.
Ruth Bodian wants members of Congress to understand that a young person who is adopted from foster care has a much greater prospect of developing a fulfilling life than a young person who languishes in the system. However, parenting a child who has experienced trauma can be extremely challenging and it is crucial to provide families with adequate services and financial support. Respite care is especially important to give parents needed breaks.
Ruth summarizes her experience as an adoptive mom: “Jaron and I truly enjoy each other’s company, and he makes me laugh more than anyone I know. I had always been wary about parenting a teenager. Although it is not without its challenges, it is far more enjoyable and rewarding than I ever imagined it could be.”
