Meet the Estime Family!

“Knowing that you’re not just another foster kid but that someone saw fit to say I love you enough to go through this process is the best gift one can give.”

Merli Estime moved to the United States from Belgium with her parents when she was just three months old. Her mother died when she was eight, leaving her and her siblings in the care of her father. Due to his inability to adequately provide for his children, Merli and her siblings were placed in foster care. Merli would later age out of the foster care system at the age of 21, and without any real supports, she spent the next nine months “house hopping” before Sarah Gerstanzang connected to Schaffer Hall, which provided her with her very first apartment. Over the years, Sarah and her husband Michael have remained a permanent connection for Merli and have also been a source of support for Merli’s sister Marie. To this day, Merli credits the Gerstanzangs for her a lot of her success.

Upon graduating from college, Merli entertained the idea of going overseas to teach and explore different career paths but she knew that that would mean leaving her seventeen year old sister’s fate in the hands of the foster care system. As a result, she decided to put her international plans on hold to look after her sister. Reflecting back on that time in her life, Merli says she made the decision to adopt her sister because she didn’t want her to have to face some of the problems she experienced during her eleven years in foster care. She believed she could provide her with some stability and a sense of normalcy. Marie was officially adopted just before her 18 th birthday and now she and her sister live together in a two-bedroom apartment in New York. They have a brother who resides in Florida.

For Merli, adoption has been rewarding but has not been without its challenges. She set out to adopt her sister with the goal of providing her with better opportunities than those that had been afforded to her, but she admits that she struggles between balancing the roles of big sister and caretaker. She also recalls the pressure she was under to ensure that her sister’s adoption was finalized before her 18th birthday so that Marie would be eligible for grants and scholarships to pursue her college education.

When the Estimes were asked what they would tell others considering adoption, Merli and Marie agree that was not easy but having a sense of belonging is well worth the ups and downs that come with the journey. Marie added, “Knowing that you’re not just another foster kid but that someone saw fit to say I love you enough to go through this process is the best gift one can give.” Marie is so thankful that her sister adopted her and is appreciative of all the sacrifices that she made on her behalf.