Meet the Cholewinski Family!
As a family of 10, we describe our home as “controlled, happy chaos.”
Our experience raising our three birth daughters, and Marcie’s expertise as an elementary school teacher, motivated us to expand our family. When our daughters were ages 5, 6, and 7, we became therapeutic foster parents. After the first child we fostered was adopted by close friends, we began to consider fostering to adopt ourselves. We knew we had room in our hearts and home for a sibling group, so we began inquiring online.
We encountered many roadblocks due to already having three young children in addition to full-time careers. After we had been inquiring for seven months, an adoption worker contacted us about a pair of spunky, adorable redheads. Our family fell head over heels for Jake and Olyvia. The two had been in foster care for five years before coming to us. We were able to complete their adoption in the summer of 2017, when they were 6 and 8. Now ages 10 and 12, Jake and Olyvia have made tremendous progress in overcoming their difficult earlier years. Both are straight A students and insanely talented.
Our family continued to do therapeutic foster care and also continued to inquire about adoptive placements. In the fall of 2016, we provided respite care for a sibling set whom we had noticed at agency events. Anya and Jazper were 4 and 10 at the time. The following spring we were notified that the duo needed a new adoptive placement. We made sure the local agency knew we had the time and resources to meet all of the children’s needs.
Anya and Jazper moved in that summer. Jazper was adopted in February 2019 at age 6 and Anya in July 2019 at age 13. After four years in foster care, the pair were happy to have a permanent family. Jazper enjoys crafts, playing outside, and building with blocks. Anya is a straight A student and recently made the JV softball team as an 8th grader. She often tells us that she is “a miracle” (given what she had experienced). We agree.
In the spring of 2019, we decided to attend an adoption match event even though we knew the odds were stacked against us. In our experience, social workers often skip over big families and even families with working parents. We knew that workers would need to meet us and talk to us to see our dedication to providing a family to children who need one.
We both agree it was love at first sight when we met 5-year-old Aubrie at that event. Justin was insistent that Aubrie become our daughter. After a few weeks of exchanging emails, Aubrie’s adoption worker arranged to visit us. Before leaving our home, she stated, “Aubrie would be so happy here; I can see it!” Our whole family was cautiously excited. After a few visits, that sweet little girl moved to her forever home. This very large family of nine other people was the best choice for this little girl who didn’t yet talk. We adopted Aubrie in August 2020 and she now often speaks. Aubrie loves to jump on her trampoline and swim in the family pool. She is a completely different child now. She is the most beautiful, perfect, unexpected ending to our adoption journey (for now)!
We enjoy watching our eight children (currently ages 6 to 14) growing up together. Seeing the bonds grow among them is a wonderful feeling. Our children are all very proud of what they have overcome and who they are now. Adoption talk is the norm around our house.
We have been pleased with post-adoption services, but frustrated that we can no longer be considered for foster or adoptive placements due to our family size. Therefore we would respectfully ask that Congress discourage caps on family size in order to allow adoption placement decisions to be made on a case-by-case basis. Some families—like ours—can and do thrive with many children.
Some days can be long and hard but it’s always worth it! When the children are older — with some over 18 — we plan on fostering and adopting again.
