Meet the Cates Family!

“We have been blessed with three phenomenal children!”

(2011) The Cates are “a well-blended family comprised of mom, dad, and three children.” Darnell, age seventeen, Sierra, age twelve, and Phillip, age ten, joined the family at ages nine, six, and five.

Unable to birth a child, Arthur and Mary Cates intended to adopt a baby. Their mindset changed when they met eight-year-old Darnell at a Black Adoption Fair. Mary recalls, “His big brown eyes suggested he wanted to be loved, wanted parents he could trust. We bonded with Darnell very quickly.” Darnell recalls the day his adoption became finalized. “It was very special because it was my ninth birthday.  I remember getting shoes that actually fit for this first time.”

Their motivation to adopt again came from Darnell himself, who wanted a little sister. The Cates met Sierra and her younger brother Phillip at adoption promotion event. The pair had been living together in a group home. They joined the Cates family at ages six and five. Although Arthur and Mary had intended to adopt just one more child, they understood the importance of sibling bonds. Demonstrating their characteristic flexibility, they adopted both children.

The Cates youngsters bear witness to the progress children make when they feel securely settled into a loving family. Darnell has developed his comedic personality, keeping family and friends well entertained. His interests include track, football, acting, texting his friends, reading, video games, and old movies. Quiet and subdued Sierra enjoys hobbies typical of girls her age: tap, ballet, modern, and African dance; bike-riding; video games; and playing with friends. When Phillip joined the Cates, he was unable to hold a pencil or write his name. He quickly mastered age-appropriate skills and blossomed into a bright, fun-loving, charming child. His hobbies include basketball, acting, video games, skateboarding, bike-riding, and watching sports with his dad.

The Cates report very few challenges in adoption. “We have been blessed with three phenomenal children!” Initially, the family experienced sibling rivalry, as Darnell had grown accustomed to being the only child.

Post-adoption family counseling provided through UCLA’s “Ties for Families/Adoptions” helped the Cates blend and bond with each other. In addition, the children attended group therapy and received psychological and intellectual assessments to ensure appropriate academic placement. Due to her special needs, Sierra receives ongoing counseling and therapy. The Cates appreciate these post-adoption services and also the federal adoption tax credit, which has enabled them to care for academic and basic family needs. 

The Cates ask members of Congress to assure that post-adoption services remain available to families adopting from foster care through the child’s twenty-first birthday.

The Cates youngsters offer these responses when asked what adoption has meant to them:

Darnell: “Adoption means I have a second chance at life I know I am loved and have a safe place to call home. When strangers take you into their home and love you just for who you are; you can relax and live a regular life.”

Phillip: “My sister and I have a new family. I love my Mom and Dad.”

Sierra: “Now I have two Mommies.”