Meet the Anthony Family!
I always knew that adoption would be part of my life story. Adoption stories gripped my heart and made my eyes swell with tears, even though I couldn’t identify why. It’s what led me to social work school after I graduated high school—I wanted the opportunity to devote my life to helping precious children find loving and safe homes. But after graduating, life took an unexpected turn and I found myself working first overseas doing youth outreach and then as communications director at a large church.
I told myself that someday after I got married and started my own family, I could then consider adopting a child myself. But once again, life didn’t turn out as I expected, and I reluctantly gave up my lifelong dream of being a mom.
Then in 2017, our church began a new initiative focused on foster care and adoption, and I began to learn of the need for families of all shapes and sizes—even single women like me who work full-time. I decided that even though I wasn’t going to be a mom myself, I had lots of love to give to a child who needed a safe place to land while her parents got back on their feet. I contacted the agency our church was partnering with and began the process of becoming a licensed foster parent. I will always remember my home study worker standing in the middle of my second bedroom and saying, “This is a nice, big room—you could definitely fit two children in here!” I laughed and told her that, having never parented a child before, one at a time was all I could handle.
And yet, once again life had a big surprise in store for me—actually two, very tiny surprises. I was officially licensed in February, and the day before Easter, my friends and family threw me a foster shower. After the party, a few of us gathered in my nursery, holding hands and praying over all of the babies who would be cared for there. I imagined a long string of children stretching over years—each one special, each one precious, each one nurtured and cared for and surrounded by love for as long as they needed. What I didn’t know was that the sweet little pink nursery was destined for only two babies, and they would both be there together. In fact, although I wouldn’t find out for five more weeks, they would be born the very next day.
On May 5, 2018, I received the call that would change my life forever. An emergency placement was needed for preemie twin girls. “Can you meet me at the hospital with a car seat at noon?” the caseworker asked. In all the preparations I had made, I had nothing small enough for a premature baby, let alone two. A friend and I raced through the aisles at Target, grabbing necessities, before I drove to the hospital. I walked out several hours later with the tiniest human I had ever seen (one twin weighed just over 4.5 pounds) and a piece of my heart left behind upstairs in the NICU where the other needed a few more days to get stronger. I had no idea if I would have these sweet little ones for a few hours, a few weeks, or forever, but I knew that my heart was 100% theirs for as long as they needed it.
And it turns out, our nontraditional little family was destined to become permanent. After a 28-month journey through foster care, right before Christmas, I raised my right hand in front of a Zoom screen, promising to be their legal parent forever. When the judge asked me why I hoped to adopt them, my answer was simple: “Because I love them. And I think whoever gets to be their parent is the luckiest person in the world.”
My children will spend the rest of their lives dealing with the trauma surrounding their early lives and the loss of their biological family. And I will devote the rest of mine to fighting for them, advocating for every resource that could help them, and doing everything in my power to alleviate that trauma. One
thing I place a high value on is the connection to their birth family. I want them to always know who they are and where they came from. They have a large family spread across several states and we enjoy in-person visits, video chats, and sharing pictures back and forth. My family grew by more than just two, and I am so thankful for the beautiful partnership we all have in supporting and loving our girls.
But the story doesn’t end there. The day after the adoption was finalized, I began a new career working for the foster care and adoption agency that created my family. I love getting to be a part of a team that provides safety and permanency for vulnerable children. I especially love working with fellow single moms. I believe we are a largely untapped resource with huge potential to help children, but due to misconceptions and stigma, we are often held back from getting involved.
And so it turns out, adoption was not only part of my life’s story—it was and is the very best of it. I can’t wait to devote the rest of my life to advocating for the precious souls in my own home, as well as being able to multiply that effort across the families I work with. It is challenging and sometimes heartbreaking work, but it is truly a privilege to have a front-row seat to see healing and hope happen every day.
